2. Really Wish I Could

THE STORY : 

The primary inspiration for this song comes from a phone call I had with a friend living in Berlin, we'll call him Pedro. Anyway Pedro had been recently married to a fellow doctor. He assumed he'd be deep into that ever so sweet honeymoon chapter of his relationship where the love is just bubbling over. Now, it's not unusual for one spouse to be called away on duty or business and when this happens during this honeymoon no one is happy about that.

The way I heard it, instead of accepting a local job she chose to leave for a year on the other side of the earth and this was not the first time and this put Pedro into a dark dark place where he didn't really know how to take this abandonment. The relationship, he admitted, had had some major tensions stemming from his own relocation to a new country/continent and this leaving just made him question what she really felt about him. He gave it his best shot. He sat at home and texted a lot trying to keep the embers glowing and his spirits up. 

It didn't take long before he realized that, unlike their last separation, he hadn't really started missing her at all, at least not with the intensity he felt he should. What could this mean? After some time in it dawned on him she'd sort of done him a favor by leaving him all alone. He told me he felt he was "back in the Land of the Loving". Had to stop him on that phrase, wrote it down, and that became the center of the song : his emergence from isolation to being free to accept love again. I finished the song that afternoon. 

HERE'S THE FINISHED TRACK : 

I'd originally thought I'd take it in the direction of "Singin' in the Rain", sort of a jaunty stepping out into the streets again, perhaps a melancholy tap dancing through the bridge. But, I think it was sitting with Jonathan Donaldson and playing it for him one Sunday morning that made me realize it could be a little more. Often happens sitting with Jonny. Forces you to up that game.

Here's the original sad swingin' demo : 

Here's where we headed soon after. This demo from our first rehearsal of this song includes the a rough sketch of the background vocals. Listen to Jimmie blazing a trail through that forest! Something nice here that I think we lost in the final. Always happens.  : 

RE Dan Hicks : It might've been when we started recording this that I realized I might have also tapped into another song I'd heard, at least as a sort of corollary to Pedro's situation. When Heathe and I were living in the Czech Republic, we had a drummer friend who was playing with a bunch of Irish street buskers. One gray afternoon we were sitting with them in Staroměstské náměstí, the old town square, and they started up this Dan Hicks song with a kind of Pogue bent and I just fell in love with it. That twist. I think Really Wish I Could owes something to this tune. Clueless as ever, I have to admit that it wasn't until I was preparing these notes that I realized it wasn't those buskers who'd written it. Alas, Dan Hicks (1941-2016) had to wait until he'd died to be recognized in my universe. :  

Lyrics

I’ve been trying to miss you, but it just doesn’t come easy
does it mean there’s something wrong with me or wrong with us?
seems you’ve been gone forever, long before you left
longing to be together doesn’t enter my mind
it just hasn’t happened yet

guess I should thank you. you’re welcome to stay away
Really wish I could miss you,
but it just hasn’t happened, I can’t say it’s happened yet

Let me tell you a fairy tale story,
turns out fairly stale and boring
Stop me please if you’ve heard this one before

Glory be, The Kingdom of Me!
I’m back in the Land of the Loving!
After living every day inside that frame
that just fell off the wall as you were leaving.

Guess I should thank you. You’re welcome to stay away.
Really wish I could miss you,
but it just hasn’t happened
I can’t say it’s happened yet

I’m still waiting, still waiting, waiting still...
Guess I should thank you, you’re welcome to fade away
Really wish I could miss you,
but it just doesn’t happen,
I can’t say it’s happened yet

I’m still waiting...

(the last third of the song is just an excuse to let Aaron take off on an extended solo. Anyone who's played with Aaron knows it never doesn't make sense to let Aaron take an extended solo)

music and lyrics by Humberto Cordero

Hum : piano, organ, vocals

Jim Snider : upright & electric bass

Aaron Mayo : guitar

Andrew : drums, percussion

Emily Wade Adams : vocals

Recorded and mixed by THE Jon Evans at Brick Hill, Orleans, who, as always knows how to build those background vocals into something special.

Mastered by Coast, Berkeley, CA

chord chart for Really Wish I Could.

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